(So to Speak)

* Why isn't phonetics spelled phonetically?
* If a deaf kid swears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?
* What's another word for synonym?
* Why do we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?
* Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"
* Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
* Is it possible to be "totally partial?"
* Would a fly that loses its wings be called a "walk?"
* If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
* If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
* If people can have triplets and quadruplets why not singlets and doublets?
* Is Atheism a non-prophet organization.
* I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where is the self-help section?" She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
* Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
* Why don't you ever see the headline, "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
* Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
* Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
* Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
* Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
* If flying is so safe, why is the airport called 'terminal'?